Urmila’s Enchantment

My father wanted a son, someone who could be the King of Mithila when the time comes. Yet when I was born, he couldnt be more proud. Sage Narada had visited our kingdom shortly before my birth. He predicted that my sister Sita and I, would be instrumental to the inevitable dharm yudh to come. Our lives will be filled with challenges and our choices would impact the course of future. Scared that both her children would have to suffer and face difficulties, our mother pleaded with the Sage to bless her children with some comfort. Though he couldn’t change destiny, he was moved by our mothers love. He said ‘I cannot change the writings of the Lord, but I bless your unborn child not to suffer during the tough times.’ She remembered these words throughout. My mother was in immense pain while giving birth to me. When she first held me in her arms, she remembers fondly, I was smiling. One smile made her forget all her pain. She named me Urmila, meaning ‘The Enchantress’.

Despite our mother’s futile attempts, our father ensured that Sita and I receive the best education in finance, philosophy and warfare other than our regular education in science and scriptures. In all the moments that our mother could steal us from our trainings, she tried to give us a life befitting a princess. As we grew older, our trainings became tougher. Father would send us with nobles to other kingdoms to understand diplomacy and policies, with saints to gain deeper understanding of ourselves and of the Universe, with army men to train us for combat and wars, and he took us himself to meet the people of our kingdom, to understand their problems and become better rulers.

I grew up with Sita, Madhavi and Shrutakirti. Madhavi and Shrutakirti were our uncle’s daughters who was the king of the neighbouring kingdom. We were all trained and educated together. Some of the trainings were very hard, but having such lovely sisters around, made up for everything. We were together all the time. It was all going well until Sage Narada visited our kingdom, again.

Lord ParshuRama had organized a yagna at a place near our Kingdom. Sage Narada, the sage with the highest honour amongst all sages – who was free to roam all the worlds and visit the Gods, attended this yagna. Impressed with his contributions towards the yagna, Lord ParshuRama presented Sage Narada with the holy Shiv Dhanush, Pinaka, a cross bow that he had won from the almighty Lord Shiva himself. On his journey back, sage Narada decided to take a tour of the nearby lands, disguised as a lonely farmer looking for a new land to relocate to. On the outskirts of our kingdom, he was attacked by some bandits. Scared that these bandits would discover the Pinaka, sage Narada tried to engage them with his wits. At the same time, as Lords had destined it, Sita and I were returning from our visit to Madhavi and Shrutakirti. We saw five bandits with swords had cornered a lonely person with no means to help himself. Without a second thought, I jumped off my horse and took my sword in hand. Sita too had her sword drawn and was charging at the bandits. In a matter of minutes, the bandits were disarmed and tied up. Oblivious to his true identity, we invited sage Narada to travel with us to our kingdom where he could take shelter.

On the way, Sita and I were discussing the new trainings that we took with Madhavi and Shrutakirti. While we were discussing, the disguised sage spoke ‘You princesses are well read for your age, your highnesses. You seem to have taken a leaf or two from the scriptures of Lord Shiva.’

That didnt sound like some farmer’s word. None but only the enlightened spoke of Lord Shiva’s scriptures. ‘You dont sound like a farmer. Who are you? Reveal yourself.’ I commanded. At the same time Sita had drawn her sword and was holding it against his chest. The soldiers had already surrounded him. The farmer spoke no more but smiled as the soldiers took him captive along with the bandits.

When Sita and I reached the palace, our father came rushing out to greet us. Instead of blessing us as he always did whenever we returned from a visit, he rushed pass us, to the tied farmer. He kneeled before the farmer and apologized. Suddenly we were standing in front of a sage who was radiating knowledge more than anyone we had ever met, sage Narada. We knelt in front of him and begged him to forgive us for our ignorance. We requested him to accept our hospitality for the night and he heartily agreed.

Later that evening, sage Narada demanded an audience with our parents, alone. Next morning, he blessed us all and left.

My father, though an able King, was a father. His heart ached for the life that Sita and I were moving towards. One day, he took me to the treasury and showed a magnificent bow. It was the Pinaka. My father announced that he was organizing a swayamwar for Sita, the only hope to make allies with a larger kingdom to ensure safety of our people.

Chariots started coming in from all directions. As the date of the swayamvar approached, Mithila turned to a host for nobles and royalties of various kingdoms. I didn’t understand the idea of letting my sister marry someone for their attempt at a task but I knew better than to say. On the day of the Swayamvar, our mother asked her to go and pray at the Lordess Gauri temple. On entering the nearby gardens, we saw sage Vishwamitra along with his two disciples. The young men settled the sage under a tree and came into the garden. From their mannerisms, they seemed like mighty Princes. The taller of the two princes had the strong built of a warrior. He stood with poise and reflected only valour. Yet his eyes bore the tenderness with which he was plucking flowers for his reverent teacher.

The next day, prince Rama of Ayodhya, the other disciple of sage Vishwamitra, known for being just and leading an exemplary life, won the swayamvar. I realized it a little too late that Sita had been silently praying for Prince Rama’s victory too.

Another thing that I became aware of was the other prince’s identity. He was Prince Lakshman of Ayodhaya. Soon King Dashrath, King and ruler of the mighty Ayodhaya, his Queens and the other two Princes arrived in Mithila to bless the holy matrimony. Sage Vashishta and sage Vishwamitra, who had agreed to grace the matrimony, suggested that it was unwise to separate the four sisters. Just in a blink of an eye, I found myself myself standing in front of the holy fire with Prince Lakshmana, along with Sita-Prince Rama, Madhavi-Prince Bharat and Shrutakirti-Prince Shatrughan. In the blue dhoti with a golden border and a golden angvastram, Lakshman walked in front of me, around the holy fire, wreath of Jasmine flowers hiding his face from the veiled face of mine. I had heard of his bravery but no one had ever mentioned how enchanting the sparkle of his eyes was.

The weddings were so grand that all the empire seemed to be immersed in a never ending festival. Lakshmana was a wonderful person. He was a man of few words. On our first evening in the palace, Lakshmana told me that he held his mother, father, brothers in high esteem. Their happiness meant everything for him. From this day forth, my happiness would also be equally important for him.

The honestly and love of his soul sparkled through his eyes. My happiness knew no bound. It was all like a dream.

On our way back to Ayodhya, there was hardly anytime that Lakshman and I were alone. Yet his little gestures of love and respect were winning my heart. My life had changes too soon, but who knew, it was about to be changed again. Just after two Ayodhyan Sunsets, my blissful dreams turned to nightmares. When King Dashrath announced coronation of prince Rama as the new King of Ayodhaya, Queen Kekaiyi became upset. She demanded two boons from the King which he had once promised. The first boon was coronation of prince Bharat as the new King. The second boon was exile to prince Rama for fourteen years.

All the happiness melted away from the castle and the darkness set in. When Lakshmana heard the news, he overcame with rage.

He was angry at the turn of events. ‘How could anyone in their right mind think of exile for Rama?’ he asked. I put a hand on his shoulder, ‘It is just fourteen years. When he comes back, King Rama will ascend the throne that is rightfully his.’ Suddenly, the expression on Lakshmana’s face changed. He seemed to be in some confusion. It was like he had noticed my presence for the first time. He sat me down next to me and told me that he needed to go with prince Rama. The two brothers had always been together. I smiled at Lakshmana and started packing our clothes. I knew him enough by now to know that he would want no less. Even I couldn’t bear separation from Sita for such a long period. Lakshmana held my hand and stopped me. He told me that I couldnt accompany him. I was a princess and that life that he was going to lead was not suited for me. I protested that Sita is going. A wife had no reason to be in the palace if her husband was going to live in the jungle. I chose to be a wife befor being a princess. The more I tried to make him see, the more adamant he became. I couldnt believe my ears. He was just not understanding. I protested again ‘Lakshmana listen…’ but he cut me in between. ‘I need you here to take care of mothers, father and other of your sisters. Please do this for me. Take care of everyone and yourself.’ he said and left.

I sat in my chambers, weeping, unable to believe that this was really happening. In one day my husband and my sister, people I loved the most in the world, were going away for fourteen years. I heard the chariot come to take them. I rushed to the balcony to have a last image of Lakshmana before he left. He was no longer wearing his robes worthy of a prince but dressed like a hermit. Prince Rama and Sita settled comfortably into the chariot. Lakshmana stood by their side. All the people of the city had crowded the palace – each pursuing them to stay. All three looked grieved to leave the people disheartened. As the chariot moved, Lakshmana looked up. There was no sparkle in his eyes. I couldnt hold back the tears. I couldnt see him leave or believe that he wouldnt take me. I cried as the chariot slowly moved out of the sight.

The chariot wouldnt have even made to the boundary when the whole affair took King Dashrath’s life. Immediate news was sent to prince Bharat and prince Shatrughana, who were then not in the city. Messengers were also send to find prince Rama and prince Lakshmana.

The palace that stood high like the Sun at sunrise, was sunken into death and despair by the sunset. Darkness engulfed the Suryavanshi Palace.

Everything had happened so fast that it was hard to accept that it was the truth. Deep inside I felt that Lakshmana would return any moment. The chariot that they had ridden, had not returned yet nor had the messenger. Surely the brothers wouldn’t stay away hearing the news of their father’s demise. I knew they would come… but they did not.

It was getting late enough to be worried. Once again I stepped onto the balcony and looked down. Except for a drenched street dog that was lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Rain water had puddled under the lamp post. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Even the moonlight hid behind the clouds. It was like no one knew any light in Ayodhya.

Did I hear a soft knock at the door? I turned back, hoping to see Lakshmana, but saw a nymph standing in the middle of my chamber. I knelt down in front of her to pay my respects. She smiled and introduced herself as Goddess Nidra – the sleep Goddess. She said that it is customary for a human to sleep every day. Lakshmana had made a promise to his mother before leaving that he would protect his brother and sister-in-law at day and guard them at night. When he refused to sleep at all for the next fourteen years, she was forced to visit him. Seeing his devotion towards his brother and towards his promise, she had offered him an exchange – if another human took his share of sleep for next fourteen years, he could keep his word.

I couldnt believe this was happening. A voice inside my head kept saying that the shock was causing hallucinations. Goddess Nidra came to me and said ‘Your sacrifice will be of utmost importance to your husband, child. It would be like a long sleep. When you wake, he would be in front of you.’ ‘I would happily sleep for eternity if it helps my husband. That is the least I could do for him. I am just upset that if any news comes of him, I wouldnt get it. I wouldnt know what is happening with him’ I replied. The Goddess smiled and placed a hand on my head. She was overwhelmed by my love for my husband even when he had hurt me. She said that she will put me under an enchanted sleep, where I will be able to see him everytime he would think of me.

I dont know I was asleep and I dreamt of Goddess Nidra or I slept as soon as she put me under enchantment, but I slept. My last thoughts before going to sleep were of Sage Narad’s blessing for me. I just was amused how everything was woven out.

My sleep was mostly an undisturbed one. It was mostly just darkness. I felt like I was alone in a dark place, with no light or no means to track time. However, I seldom saw Lakshmana. Once I saw him by a river, picking fruits. The other time I saw him sitting next to Sita as she told him tales from our childhood. Once I saw him talk about me and how he missed me to a strange beautiful lady. Mostly I saw him when he was by the river, throwing rocks into the water. This feeling was like being plunged into a vast emptiness with these moments as the only solace. Everytime I saw him, I grew more worried. His limbs had deep cuts and there were always new wounds on his torso whenever I saw him. Prince Rama looked the most calm of them all. He lived in the jungle with the peace that he had lived with in the Palace. Sita was fine too. Though the hardships of the jungle had made her a little less delicate than what I remembered. These images were only flashes. Sometimes I would ponder if he only remembered me in flashes or these few moments felt like mere seconds when compared to the real distances that separated us.

My first long vision of Lakshmana came after a long period of darkness. I saw him on a battle-field. He had a lot of cuts on his body and a particular nasty cut on his arm was bleeding. Suddenly snakes appeared to be coiling him from underneath. Before he could react, his bow fell down from his hand and he fell unconscious. Before he fell on the ground, I saw Prince Rama too was attacked by snakes and had collapsed. Sita was nowhere to be seen. I shouted as loud as possible but no one heard me. It was all dark around me. I ran in every possible direction but nothing happened. For what seemed like hours, I kept looking for a way out. Only if I could wake up and tell the Ayodhyan army, they would be able to go and rescue Lakshmana and Prince Rama. But no one heard me. Finally, I did the only thing I could. I prayed to Lord Shiva to bless Lakshmana – to bless him with my life if need be – to bless him with strength that he emerges victorious in the war. I am not sure when, but my prayers were answered. I saw Lakshmana regain conscious. Prince Rama was already awake. Both brothers looked a little pale but otherwise in perfect health. It appeared they were surrounded by Gods, apemen and a lot of other celestial beings. Even before I could see enough of Lakshmana, I was captured by darkness again.

The second time when I found myself in the battle-field again, things had become uglier than before. Just then something blinding and loud as Lord Indra’s thunder struck Lakshmana and he fell on the ground. I am sure I saw the ape army fight demons. Before everything turned dark, Prince Rama had come by Lakshmana’s side. This time I knew all I could do was pray. I prayed with all my might. It seemed even longer than before. I couldn’t even keep my mind in focus. What were they doing? Why were they fighting apes and demons? I hadn’t seen Sita this time either. I hoped she was well – she had to be well. After long period, the lights came back. Lakshmana was slowly being administered something. Simultaneously Prince Rama and the apemen were helping him get him. Prince Rama hugged him tightly and started crying. Lakshmana seemed unaware of his unconsciousness. He looked well and then the lights went away.

This time, I wasn’t scared of the darkness. Instead, I prayed for it. I knew enough that Prince Rama and Lakshmana were fighting a war. Ofcourse Lakshmana wouldn’t have time to remember me during one, so the only time I would see him would be when he got injured. Being in darkness meant that he was well. I hoped I would wake up soon – I prayed for these years of suffering to end – I prayed that I should only see Lakshmana with open eyes now.

I don’t know how long I had slept. I woke up in my chambers. My heard was heavy and spinning. It felt like a really bad dream. Madhavi and Shrutakirti were waiting by my bedside. The moment I opened my eyes, they each hugged me and filled me with all the details. I hadn’t been having a bad dream – Sita had been captured by the demon king. Both the brothers had to war the demon King to free Sita. The war was now over. As we spoke, all three of them, King Rama, Queen Sita and Prince Lakshmana were coming back. I looked at my sisters. They had grown old. I didnt know how long I slept but I could see how long they had suffered. Madhavi kept telling me details about the war – how King Rama had saved the entire human kind from the demon king – how he had been announced a Universal King. I was listening half-heartedly. My head was still spinning and a quick glance around the room showed that it was exactly the same as I remembered it.

I went and started tiding the chambers. The inkpot which was open fourteen years ago was still open. All the ink had dried out. The clothes I had taken out to be packed were still stacked on a chair. It seemed that no one had been allowed to move anything from in the chambers. I looked into the mirror, an old lady stared back. The princess worthy of those clothes on the chair was nowhere to be found. I kept going into the balcony looking for the chariot that had still not come back. It was like I was still living that day and time.

It felt like forever before someone finally announced that a pushpak vimaan was headed towards the palace.

I rushed outside the Palace to where the vimaan would land. I could see King Rama and Sita being seated. Lakshmana was standing by King Rama’s side. He wore the same clothes as he did when I had last seen him. There were a few cuts on his limbs, scars that a victor wore with pride. I had waited for fourteen years to have a glimpse of my prince. When he got down, he took blessings from all the Queens and sage Vashishtha. Slowly, in what seemed like eternity, he walked over to me. There were no words with either of us for each other. I could see his face had grown rugged. It dawned on me that I was married to Lakshmana for more than fourteen years, yet, he is still a stranger to me. As my dharma dictates to me, I knelt and touched his feet. He stopped me in between and raised me. For the first time in my life, I looked in his eyes as he looked into mine. The eyes that waited for him for fourteen years, didnt seem to recognize the eyes they had been waiting for. I had forgotten how his voice sounded. What if he had found someone else in these years of separation? What if telling me to stay back was a test to check how much I valued my dharma, and I had failed? Worse… what would happen if he would speak to me? Things had drastically changed between us. He had spent fourteen years fighting a war and I had slept all that time. Even though we led a life that was more inter-twined than normally possible, life had still made us two very different persons.

After many silent moments, he bent his head lower and said that he was worried about my well bring. There were unknown threats and dangers in the forest. If I had accompanied them, he would always worry about my well-being and would also be guilty of making me go through all that. He worried that while he swore his duty to serve and protect prince Rama and princess Sita, he would not do justice to me.

These words broke the ice. What if I had done my dharma, but what about his dharma? I wasn’t fighting a war but I was captured in the worst place possible. There was just no escape from there. Where was he when I needed him? My sister had been exiled – shouldn’t my husband then stand by my side to support me? Wait! We didn’t get the chance to be husband and wife to each other. In the few days of our marriage, we had lived as a prince and princess.

I stood before a person I respected but I don’t know if he would understand what I went through. I don’t know how to deal with the years we have lost. I didn’t know where to start making amends. As a wife, I follow him into the castle. As a woman, I am still in the darkness fighting my way towards light.